ode to the sh*t who murdered my mail box

dear inconsiderate slime,
that was a waste of your time,
all that effort to pry
and not a check waiting by
not a bank statement,
not a present, nor dime

your mother must really be proud,
bet she sings your praises aloud
does she know you’re a sh*t
with the mind of a twit
and are most likely
minutely endowed

what were you hoping to steal?
(you worthless degenerate heal)
all you got was Netflix,
Season Three, Disc Six
of (goddamn you I was looking forward to that)
Ally McBeal

© Sarah Whiteley


10 thoughts on “ode to the sh*t who murdered my mail box

    1. I might have to consider that option. It’s unusable and I’ve had to put my mail on hold until building maintenance can fix it. What an annoyance, but I am glad they didn’t get anything of worth.

  1. Oh dear, that was mean of whoever did it. Is your mailbox far from the house? Ours in the UK are usually in the front door and the doorbell has to be run for deliveries. Maybe that’d be the way to go in future?

    Love the poem.

    1. Someone actually broke into the building (I live in an apartment building), smashed a very thick little piece of glass on my little mailbox door, and then pried the whole door off with something. I’m just going to start having any packages sent to the office. Sad, but I think it’s just safer that way.

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