the consolation

I could not save
the goldfinch
from drowning –

for years now,
the memory
has persisted

frail the feathers,
bright the dazzle
of sun on the water

logic tells me
he was dying
regardless

and his death,
the gift of a day
that remains

© Sarah Whiteley

Life is unpredictable, and sometimes we are presented with an opportunity which drives us in a direction opposite from our original intentions. The choice to jump in one direction or the other can result in unlooked for changes. For the time being, my heart has told me to set Colorado aside and to stay where I am to see what comes of a rediscovered love. Rest assured that I am both happy and hopeful jumping in this particular direction.

In other news, PBS American Portrait reached out to me recently on Twitter and asked if I would consider sharing. And so I did, submitting under the category “My greatest challenge is…” I hope that you will take a moment read what I’ve chosen to share, and also consider sharing your own story as well as browsing through the many wonderful thoughts that others have shared.

I don’t often speak of my struggles with anxiety and depression, but they are very real parts of my life. Hiking has become a way of coming home to myself – a way of finding peace when nothing else has worked. I felt like it was important enough to share, knowing that others face the same daily battles.

With much love and appreciation,
Sarah

ordinary elsewhere

that Thursday morning,
while ordinary elsewhere,
emerged here with such joy –
so bright and thick,
one could lean upon it

an homage to light,
the bending heads of yarrow
and the exuberant flash
of fireweed rose late
above the grasses with
grace beyond speaking

it is just as well I left
my voice at home

© Sarah Whiteley

a lesson in breath

there is a pause
at the final turning
of November,

before the season
firmly closes,
that may be entered

if the juncture
between foot and path
is timed just so

there stillness rests
in cool absolute –
a mantle of calm,
a lesson in breath

© Sarah Whiteley

the raccoons

that silver morning at Shi Shi,
the chill we rose to a mere shade
of the deeper cold to come

we’d had visitors in the night,
our tents encircled by prints –
two sets surveying our strangeness

then breaking away to wander
to the edge of the sea,
twining in close loops together

we followed with our coffee
trailing steam from our mugs –
careful not to efface the evidence

© Sarah Whiteley

the glad immeasurable

I do not count them, the trees –

instead, I walk into them
as one does into sunlight

or into unexpected joy
along the needle-softened path

here I am most at home –
drifting like birdsong

beneath and between
the glad immeasurable

© Sarah Whiteley

November hike

I wake before the wrens
so that I can hike
alone up the rise
and watch the gold
of new light arrive

and each time
there is a pleasure
in its crunching
beneath my feet like
bright, brittle ice

© Sarah Whiteley

fresh as new nothing

high above the canyon, the bumblebee wears its band of orange as it slips into the lips of the lupine

I have clamored up the steep creek, braving the slickness of rocks and roots for this spoon of solitude

up here, I am as anonymous to the wind as fierce-clinging heather – alone with ballads of bees and fresh as new nothing

© Sarah Whiteley

I’m slowly adjusting to my return to “civilization” after an adventure in the Alpine Lakes Wilderness. Mostly I am trying to hold onto that feeling of space and freedom for a while longer, but more posts about my experiences are sure to follow in the coming weeks. And for the first time, I journaled my experience with the help of a little weather-proof notebook my brother and his wife brought me on their last visit. Very handy!

preparing for a hike

poacher’s knot,
lark’s head, and bight –

until I find
which ropes to break,

I will tie them
to my own purpose
instead

© Sarah Whiteley

I have been spending some time getting my gear ready for a solo trek into the Alpine Lakes Wilderness later next week. Last night, I spent an hour outside just before dusk, getting my new tie-outs ready for the tarp and finding great satisfaction in tying my knots. Maybe it’s just me, but I think there’s a certain grace in knots – in altering the shape of rope (or in my case, AmSteel) to suit a purpose.

Once hung, my tarp will be shelter and comfort, will allay the winds from the ridge and keep me dry. A bit of fabric, a length of rope, and I can be at peace in the wild for a time. If only everything could be so simple.

Wandering Wonderful – A Hike and a Giveaway

On Saturday, I ventured out to the dry side of the Cascades for a little hike and exploration. By “little,” I mean 1,250 feet of elevation gain within a single mile. So I guess by “hike,” I really mean climb.

I brought along a copy of Wandering Wonderful, thinking it would be a great photo op for this little giveaway post I’ve been planning – imagine me holding my little book in front of the beautiful vista I’d just earned by scrambling up rocks along the ridge line. But the wind had other ideas – the gusts were so strong up there that I couldn’t hang onto both the book (without it flapping like mad) and the camera. Hence the ground shot. Which is infinitely less interesting than the actual canyon I’d just hiked out of, pictured below.

Still, the hike was breathtaking, heart-pumping, and everything I could have wished it to be. And I am back feeling refreshed and ready to give away a few books.

Normally, I would post a giveaway on Goodreads, but they’ve begun to charge (a rather large amount, in my opinion) to list giveaways. So instead, I’ll post it here and share on Twitter.

Now to the nitty-gritty. I will be giving away three signed copies of Wandering Wonderful. If you would like to enter, all you need to do is comment on this post. I’m not restricting it to U.S. entries only, so if you’re across one pond or the other, don’t hesitate to enter. I will leave comments open on this post until Sunday, June 23rd. After which, I will randomly select three winners.

Best of luck!
Sarah

the maps are out

hot coffee, and the maps are out –
the rise out of Box Canyon
an uneven line of red

a map may tally an ascent,
mark the twists in a trail,
lend certain assurances

what it cannot show is emergence
from a stone-heavy world
into the mercy of pines –

into the stalwart grace
of a waiting mountain,
where the rushing creeks sing
and the winds hum along

© Sarah Whiteley