messenger

a truth-teller follows me,
skating from tree to tree

this morning his black
is ruffled by a stiff wind

and his message is more
raucous perhaps as a result

but even on quiet days
it is much the same

but one morning, he’ll cry
“a-ha! a-ha!”

when he sees that I
finally get it

© Sarah Whiteley

Has it been a while since I’ve given a crow update? It has! There are signs that Coyote and his mate are nesting, but it’s not in the same spot as last year’s nest. Knock-Knock (last year’s offspring) has made himself scarce again lately – no doubt exploring the world. Coyote seems to have accepted the boyfriend and has even approached him when I’m not there once or twice.

The relationship between Coyote and Freyja-dog is an interesting one lately. Freyja knows not to chase the crows (but will chase pigeons!) and I think the crows have learned this. But lately Freyja has wanted to play with Coyote and engages in the typical doggy play invitation stances when she sees him. A couple of times, Coyote has crouched and hopped closer and then away as if teasing her. Crows are completely capable of play and I’m halfway wondering if he’s recognizing that’s what my odd little dog wants to do.

Had a lovely (albeit very breezy) breakfast on the side porch yesterday morning with Coyote for company. I managed to capture a video on the tablet of him asking for treats. About midway through, we get interrupted by a neighbor (who gave me very odd looks for clucking at a crow) and I had to pause until he went away, but you can see Coyote get anxious.

Anyway, here’s Coyote wanting his treats: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY26nP1Sb0M&feature=youtu.be

Celebrating!

Five years ago today, one tiny little poem marked the beginning of ebbtide. Five years! Am I celebrating? Hell yes!

I am so grateful for the countless ways in which this little space on the internet has helped me – as an emotional outlet, a sounding board, a source of writerly camaraderie, and a place to celebrate beauty. There has been a (much-needed) sort of inner awakening in my life since I began this writing journey, and so many people have touched me through this medium that I can only hope I’ve been able to do a little of the same for others. So thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for five wonderful years!

Peace,
Sarah

bookmarked

dearest, I have not forgotten
where I’ve left off
here, I’ve dog-eared the page
to mark it
and just in case
have laid that small red
feather of an unknown bird
found while reading
beneath our final morning
every now and then
I’ll place my fingertips
along the spine,
ruffle the pages,
glance at our names
scribed just inside,
the pages waiting
for you to catch us up
and find as I have
that between the lines
love does reside
with a grace like rain
and the peace of drowsy trees
whose branches lace
the winter moon

© Sarah Whiteley

letters to _____ – i

I do not love you
in that way some have
of losing themselves
until there is no
retrieval of self
know instead I love you
in the way geese gather
and rise gray unto gray
their cries of high, high, high
that into silence fade
I love you in the way
that they in leaving feel
what has been left behind

© Sarah Whiteley

Rites of Passage

Today marks an anniversary for me – one more than just about “blogging” – one much more meaningful. Today marks 2 years of not just wanting to reclaim myself, but of doing something about it.

Finding the courage to rediscover parts of who I used to be, and who I used to mourn no longer being, was a big step for me. And going back to writing was definitely a part of that.

Life isn’t perfect. In fact, far from it at the moment. And while there’s worry and anxiety on a daily basis these past few weeks, I have something more than I used to. In embracing myself, I’ve found such moments of absolute peace and clarity that even though I’m struggling with some big things right now, I’m happy. Part of me thinks I ought to be locked up just for saying that, but those moments of peace are a large part of what helps me to manage the day-to-day struggles right now. And I’m grateful.

Point is – today is more than an anniversary of this blog. It’s an anniversary of my SELF. And of embracing all that it entails. And loving every second of this journey of rediscovery – even the painful, messy bits (of which there are plenty).

So blessings to all who have come and gone through these pages, whether you’ve left your mark or not. You were all a part of the process. And I thank you.

Now as a treat, my cohort in crime, my traveling companion, my ever faithful confidante – my sweet, sweet girl, Freyja.

wanderer’s refrain

in delight
we paint the dark
from night descending
and fold tomorrow
into the tide
wandering feet
forget to dream
of horizons
other than home
and words
beat as moths
against the light
of the breath
from your lips
pull the roads
right out my heart
and startle the stars
down from the sky
the moon forgets to rise
feathers forget to fly
but I –
I recall the shine
of our limitless mind
and the shadow
we cast over time
over space
over these words
of mine

© Sarah Whiteley