the consolation

I could not save
the goldfinch
from drowning –

for years now,
the memory
has persisted

frail the feathers,
bright the dazzle
of sun on the water

logic tells me
he was dying
regardless

and his death,
the gift of a day
that remains

© Sarah Whiteley

Life is unpredictable, and sometimes we are presented with an opportunity which drives us in a direction opposite from our original intentions. The choice to jump in one direction or the other can result in unlooked for changes. For the time being, my heart has told me to set Colorado aside and to stay where I am to see what comes of a rediscovered love. Rest assured that I am both happy and hopeful jumping in this particular direction.

In other news, PBS American Portrait reached out to me recently on Twitter and asked if I would consider sharing. And so I did, submitting under the category “My greatest challenge is…” I hope that you will take a moment read what I’ve chosen to share, and also consider sharing your own story as well as browsing through the many wonderful thoughts that others have shared.

I don’t often speak of my struggles with anxiety and depression, but they are very real parts of my life. Hiking has become a way of coming home to myself – a way of finding peace when nothing else has worked. I felt like it was important enough to share, knowing that others face the same daily battles.

With much love and appreciation,
Sarah

21 Comments

      1. Oddly I am actually quite relieved that you are not moving elsewhere. I see no logical reason for this. except that any kind of change becomes increasingly unattractive with each passing year.

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        1. I’ve always been the wandering child. Somehow I expect I’ll still manage to wander even when I’m 80. I’m sure I have plenty of illogical dislikes though – currently people parking illegally. 😉

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  1. Sarah, I’m happy (for selfish reasons) that you’ve put off moving to Colorado. I like knowing you’re just a hundred miles up the road. 🙂 Best wishes for whatever the future brings!
    Also could relate to your challenge. Though unable to hike anymore, just being outside in nature anywhere is what brings me joy and peace. (Will try to email you soon.)

    Take care….and stay well. ❤️

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  2. Dear Sarah, I always have been a wandering one too and because of that moved many times. A dear friend of mine once said: why move, why not stay and travel? Because when you have moved you would like to move again. With you it’s an ongoing circle. She had a good point of course. So I thought I could give it a try. Since then I am still living in the same house in the same city. The unrest never left me thought. Every so often I redecorate my house, and I take daytrips, start something new, go on a round-trip holiday to deal with the unrest in my wandering soul.

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  3. Hi Sarah,
    My husband and I have been campers and hikers, and it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I wanted him to take me backpacking. So, we’ve been going ever since in the Sierra, and it’s a sense of freedom, coming into oneself, and for the two of us, more time to bond. They say laughter is the best medicine and I agree, but Nature and the outdoors are also healing options. I wish you all the best. Lauren 💗

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